It's a....

BOY! We're having a boy. Emmitt Louis Meserve.

He was really active during the ultrasound. The U/S tech kept fussing at him to hold still, which made me laugh...so of course no one was holding still. We couldn't get a profile shot b/c Emmitt wants to show off his pretty face so he wouldn't let us get a side shot. He was curled in the fetal position with his feet all curled up at his butt, which was the same was he was at our 12 week U/S. We got an adorable shot of his foot. What was so amazing was that we could actually see his mouth moving. This baby takes after his mommy already. The U/S tech said that she could see what the baby was before she ever showed us. Wes said he started looking closer when she said that so he actually caught a glimpse before she labeled it on the screen. I was the only one that didn't know, until she wrote BOY!!! on the screen. It was amazing. I've never seen Wes happier. We're getting our sweet baby boy!

DS Mama mad me furious!!

So...I have never gotten anything but support on Diaperswappers, but I found a mama today that just can't let anyone make their own choices apparently. I plan to nurse for the first 4 weeks, then pump and nurse for the next 2, then EP after that since I will be away from baby about 41 hours a week between work and the commute. I'm not saying I won't ever nurse when I am home, but not always. I didn't realize that the war is not just between formula feeding mamas and breastfeeding mamas, apparently some of the bfing mamas don't really like those of us that pump. I know it's silly to think that the battle lines are drawn that way, but they really are. Not all mamas are that way, but man, there are a bunch that are on that bandwagon and down the road with it.

I just really had my feelings hurt, which I why I guess I should have known better than to even post for help. I just assumed I would get help and not criticism. Okay...that's all...just needed to get out that I can believe that happened, but I wish I couldn't. I was naive enough to think it wouldn't.

OB appt

Just an update on the appointment we had on Friday. The nurse who used the doppler scared me to death! She just kept moving it around and moving it around. I heard something once, but she didn't say anything and she just kept moving it around so I guessed it was my heartbeat. She continued to do this for almost 5 minutes. Then FINALLY she said...I heard it, I just have to get it to come in better. Whew...sigh of relief! I was starting to worry. So we did get to hear it, and it sounded great. 150s range again this time. Baby is consistent. Everything looks good still.

My OB and I had a talk about how often she does cesereans. She said that as long as there is no fetal distress, and things are progressing, she will allow me to labor. Where I think some people get into a problem...but I don't have a problem with it...is that she said if there is no progression after "x" number of hours...she didn't give a number, but I feel confident that she and I will agree on the time...she will assume there is a problem. Maybe baby's head is too big, etc. This sounds great to me. She was a little more pro-c-section than I am, but I think most doctors are anymore b/c of malpractice. Actually, she said the push for it nationwide is b/c of malpractice. She said that my attitude about a ceserean sounds healthy. My attitude is (for anyone wanting to know) that I will do ANYTHING for my baby. I want to have a vaginal delivery. I would like to have one with all of my babies, but if there is even the slightest chance that me not having a c-section would endanger my baby in anyway...I would rather have one. My baby's health means more than what my body looks like. I am not afraid of a c-section. I know that it is a safe procedure...now it is a surgery and that's nothing to take lightly, but I feel safe about it. I think my OB thought I was asking b/c I was scared of it. I reassured her that I am not scared of it, just want to make sure our philosophies on it line up. And for the most part they do. Again...I think she likes the idea a little more than I do, but I don't feel that she will push me for one unless I have a reason. And that's all I need to know!

Feeling Terrible and Great!

Make sense of that. I feel about the worst I've felt in years physically, but life just couldn't get much better. I shouldn't have the flu because I did get my flu shot to keep from getting very sick with baby, but it feels pretty close to that. Can't sleep, can't breathe, neck hurts, head hurts, can't swallow most of the time. But I can eat...so that's a GREAT thing!!

On another note...

I can't wait for Wes and I to go to the OB on Friday. He's going to be such a great daddy. So far, he hasn't missed a doctor's appointment, which I love. Not nly does it give me extra support, our OB is really including him in everything that is going on since he's showing his face each time. That is really important to me! With so many things about babies being looked at as a mom's thing or a mom's decision, I want him to feel included. I feel like too many things get made out to be mom's choice and not a family choice, and that's why I think a lot of dad's disconnect themselves. It's easier than feeling like they aren't included. That's where part of my decision has come in about baby's feeding. I want our baby to have all the benefits of breastfeeding, but I think very often it leaves dads out. That's why after building my milk supply, I plan to exclusively pump. Another reason for this choice is to avoid the complications of weaning. I think a lot of bfing moms continue to bf because it is easier than weaning. I think children start to think of breasts as "theirs" not mom's. And, personally, I don't like that.

So here's to another choice I'll probably have to fight some people in my life to accept, I'm proud of my choice!!

Sick...

So I didn't sleep after 2:30. My throat hurts. My nose is stopped up. I'm working a 9 hour day. BUT on the up side...we go to the OB to hear the heartbeat on Friday!!